The “Olden Days”: The Way it Was

When I was growing up (In “the olden days”, according to my son), fetish priests were not very rare to find. Often, they paraded the towns and villages with a retinue of followers and attendants, one of whom invariably carried the bowl of concoctions. They wore the traditional calico gowns and had their faces and bodies painted. They carried the whisk, and wore the matted hair of their “calling” with pride. They wore on various parts of their bodies the charms, amulets, bangles and other “identifiers of the profession”. They would occasionally stop and, with the dazed and glazed look of somebody in a deep trance, put on a “show”, complete with drumming and dancing. They often claimed to be possessed by the chief god of the town or village. As children, we found these “shows” funny and entertaining, albeit a bit weird and scary sometimes.

Relations with the Community

Some feared these guys as they were believed to represent powerful deities, spirits who took no prisoners, beings who were, in Achebe’s words, “malevolent, red in tooth and claw”. (Chinua Achebe: “Things fall Apart”). There was the story told by a respected native of Cape Coast in the Central Region of Ghana, about how a relative had verbally “blasted” a prominent god whose abode was believed to be a lagoon in the town. Apparently, within hours, this poor soul was dead, struck down, it was believed, by “Nana”, the town god. Apart from the timing of the death, what had “confirmed” this as the handiwork of “Nana” was the fact that within a short period of death, this poor fellow’s nose, mouth and other orifices were apparently teeming with the maggot-like creatures that everybody knew inhabited the lake wherein “Nana” dwelt. To the “believers”, this was confirmation that you messed with “Nana” at your own peril.

Others thought the fetish priests were a joke, only good for the entertainment value of their antics. Still others couldn’t care less who they were or what power they supposedly possessed.

Whatever you thought or still think of them, at least they made no secret of the source of their “power”. Consultations were held in shrines. They may have been looked upon as evil by some, but at least those who decided to “visit” them knew what they were getting. In that respect at least, there was transparency and honesty.

All Change, Please!

The one thing you could not generally associate with the fetish priests was wealth. Or the ostentation that usually went with it. They were generally an impoverished lot.

The dynamics have changed. It seems to me that the “profession” has “adapted” to the twenty-first century! Doubtless, it was the realisation that there was wealth to be made from religion that drove the change. Why have a highly marketable “commodity” and wallow in poverty? Africans, after all, are “incurably religious” – just ask Parrinder. However, with education and urbanisation, not to mention inroads made by Christianity, having contributed to dimming any allure that fetishism once had, it was becoming increasingly “uncool” to be seen coming out of the fetish hut. Time, therefore, to adapt! Keep the same “power”, but tap into the popularity of Christianity. And, while you’re at it, why be just a priest when what people really want is to know who their hidden enemies, those thieves of people’s gilded destinies and bright futures, are. Who was responsible for all their problems? And could they have a sneak peek into the future? Prophesy therefore, man, prophesy! It’s all about diversifying your sources of income. It’s about the niche with the promise of richer pickings. It’s very much seeker-led.

So change came.

Consultations are no longer held in the shrines but right in the “church”. The arena has moved from the town centre to the church too – and the “shows” are no longer free!!! The “performers” have swapped the garbled, often-unintelligible mutterings and incantations for the gift of the gab. The unkempt appearance, a put-off to some “customers” and patrons, has been traded for the suave sophistication of the smooth operator who can effortlessly put considerable distance between you and your hard-earned money. The ancestral spirits and gods are no longer invoked, at least not openly, except on the odd occasion when some of the priests need to strike fear into people. In place of the whisk, they now hold microphones; the band is retained, but now it plays Gospel tunes. The trances still occur, but this time, it is under “the anointing”. Sometimes they quote from the Bible, but when they do, they conveniently forget the time-tested saying that “A text without a context is a pretext”. Take a Bible passage out of context and you can make it say just about anything! And do they love to tell the future, even if it’s by way of dark prophecies like “You’re one of those who’ll die young” and “You’ll soon be afflicted with AIDS”! Meet the new prophets, and welcome to the era of “prophecy-on-demand”.

Sometimes Evolution, not Revolution, Does it

Some things never change, though. The “concoction” remains, except it’s now marketed – and I use the word deliberately – as “holy water”, a universal panacea for all the problems of life. It can force that wicked, tight-fisted friend or relative “in abroad” to loosen their grip on their hard-earned cash. That money, did they not know, is yours because the “man of God” says so. If you have no such relative or friend who is “being difficult”, no problem; money can be spirited into your account. That is not stealing. It is a blessing from “God”. Need a visa to travel abroad? The same water solution. Need a spouse? No problem…you catch my drift. Krutweamansa, the tiger, has fallen into a pool of water and is clearly dripping wet, but look closely and you’ll find the stripes never went anywhere! You can take the fetish priest out of the shrine but try taking the shrine out of him…

If you prefer something more frytol-like, perhaps because cooking is more your “thing”, there’s always the “special anointing oil”. It’s blessed. It’s from Jerusalem. And it can be yours. But it doesn’t come cheap! The bracelets, anklets, rings and wrist bands remain too, to ward off evil spirits and to come to life and fight your battles when you encounter enemies in your dreams. The land of Nod can be a dangerous, very dangerous place, you know. Which is why they frequently appear there to reassure you their eye is on you for your welfare.

Backed By “Power”

Is there anything they can’t do? More worrying, perhaps, is the question “Is there anything they can’t make their followers believe or do?” From getting people to swallow live snakes, through convincing the faithful that grass “is meat indeed” even for a species not designed to chew the cud, to hoodwinking members into believing the priest has the ability to check if their names are in the “Book of Life” written by God in Heaven (for a fee, you understand), or convincing members that the “man of God” needs to ride or stand on their backs till he finishes preaching, the new breed hold their followers in an iron grip through “signs and wonders”. On occasion, they can even retrieve from the spiritual realm physical things like lost passports when they “go spiritua” (sic). Never mind that in this particular instance, the lines between the spiritual and physical realms are blurred to the point of being indistinguishable, with careful observers left with more than a suspicion that the “spiritua” realm probably extended no farther than the claustrophobic confines of the “prophet’s” pocket from whence the document appeared to have been spirited into the physical realm. The era of the “Fetish Prophet” is well and truly here!

Deceived by that Old Serpent

We’ve been duped, my friends. Lulled to sleep by the spiritually soporific effects of the “Prosperity First, Prosperity Now, Prosperity-at-all-costs” message. And “while men slept”, the enemy of men’s souls slipped in, in broad daylight, and brazenly planted his tares, thorns and briers in the church! Diabolos did not even need the back door! The watchmen were asleep at their post! The devil sold us the lie that Jesus is no longer enough, robbed Him of His preeminence in the eyes of men, lied through forked tongue that The Lord’s work on the cross was not nearly enough and that we need all sorts of water, oil and various other points of contact as substitutes and supplements, or at least as “top up”! Tragically, multitudes believed him, and still do.

Last Days!

The days the Lord warned us about in His Word are upon us. Ezekiel 8 is being re-enacted before our eyes; fetish and idolatrous practices in the church! The battle for the souls of men is raging. Who will rise up and stand in the gap? Will you volunteer?

It’s time to intercede as never before, my friends. We’ve failed miserably so far, and the Master’s return is closer than ever. Arise, people, from your slumber. We need to come before the Lord in repentance, ashes and sackcloth – or whatever their modern-day equivalent is! He will hear us, and heal our land. There’s still hope for us. He says so in His immutable Word:

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14)